Life must be a blend and flow of the two. To be exclusively either could prove meaningless and exhausting.
Sometimes I want everything to mean nothing and to just be. Just occur because it does and result in whatever and never try to show me anything but raw and base fact.
At other times I want to read into everything that I say and do, everything that is presented to me and that I witness. I want what they said to me to carry a special meaning that I must discover and it will always be exactly what they wanted me to know and I will reply. At this point, when I reply, I think in my mind it is again simple. Yes. For until it ends.
Until someone cares little enough or enough to send me such things I will continue to create them all by myself and they will cloud my judgement and influence my decisions to an unadvised extent.